Rambles

She who lost her wings

2012-02-06T04:34:00.000-08:00

what happens to the angel who stepped down to the firey hell to be with the devil she loved only to find he was with another devil and didn’t want her anymore?

She lost her dignity, her self esteem, her heart, her soul...

She pretends she’s happy, she’s content...

She lived long that way.. no need approvals, no need of friends, no need of soulmates, she was content being her... the girl with too many names

Until one day.. until that day.. she met him... let her guard down, showed her vulnerability... only to find out he didnt want her for life, he need her not for a lifetime of companionship.... he just wanted a time pass...

Wasn’t his fault... she sold herself so low... she forgot she was an angel.

Nothing is ever what it seems like

2012-01-16T08:44:00.000-08:00

Don't go, she whispered... he ignored her

please stay, she pleaded... he turned a deaf ear

I'll give you the world, she bargained... he kept walking

She thought she was gonna die

yet she stayed alive

breathing and living she found strength

until one day she saw him

self destructive and dying

she walked close

y, she asked

u were my oxygen, he said

y leave then?

u'd never understand my dear, but u r living coz i walked away...

-RandoMind-

Higher education doesn't always mean a better character

2011-08-23T08:22:00.000-07:00

didn't think i'd say this but high education (and money) does not always mean a good character..

Today as i was driving home, a black BMW was in front of me and it just went ahead even though it was red. I thought that was annoying and selfish, my ignorance lead me to believe maybe it was the driver doing so and prob in a hurry to pick up his master.

as the red turned green i went ahead and it just happened that the same black BMW was to my left and i could see from his see through glass that the driver of that BMW was a good looking young man in a fancy shirt with cufflinks (i think) talking on the phone and laughing, having a good time.

My stomach curned. I felt nauseous. All this while i hated and cursed metromini drivers and bajaj drivers for not following rules and doing what they like and i thought perhaps it has something to do with low education. But today that theory was proved wrong.

Even rich educated people are ignorant and selfish... which jz lead me to believe high education doesn't always lead to a better character. People have grown so distant, ignorant, selfish and egocentric. We lost the love and care....

Rain of Stars

2011-06-29T09:43:00.000-07:00

Lluvia De Estrellas

by Terri Hendrik

Lluvia de Estrellas (Rain of Stars)

en mi corrazon esta noche

(in my heart tonight)

Lluvia de Estrellas (Rain of Stars)

en mi alma en mi vida esta noche

(in my soul in my life tonight)

In Boquillas the sun sets around us

as we sing and play to the moon

the children's big brown eyes

light up the foothills of the mountain-side

everybody sings in harmony to the tune

Un brincador de montaöas

(a jumper of mountains)

en mi alma (in my soul)

is who you are to me

Un brincador de montaöas

(a jumper of mountains)

en mi vida (in my life)

atravez del cielo (across the sky)

when I choose to see

Are We Worth Less Than Fast Food?

2011-05-06T11:52:00.000-07:00

We live in a weird country!! Where ambulances r not given way on the road while a funeral car with its covey r given ways and could get through red lights and all.. seems like ppl here don't understand that 'HEAVEN CAN WAIT!! HUMAN LIFE DEPENDS ON THE GOLDEN HOUR AFTER TRAUMA/EXPOSURE'

Oh an another funny fact... Fast foods are available 24 hours and dropped within 30 minutes to wherever u are, but ambulances takes more than an hour... just shows that our lives in this country are cheaper than food :D

(quoting words of Prof. dr. Aryono D. Pusponegoro SpBD-KVB, SpOT)

SERIOUSLY!!

Ain't Worried About Tomorrow When You're Busy Living In A Perfect Day

2011-05-04T23:48:00.000-07:00

Been listening to Lady Antebellum's 'Perfect Day' and i got to think and reminisce about the perfect days i had... where there was no worry about tomorrow and just living in that perfect day..

1. The latest was on Sunday at 365 eco bar.. good music good friends, had one too much to drink, but it aint matter coz it was a PERRFECT DAY..

2. Then the Friday before that Sunday... @ Domain, DJ Noodles playing the set. Had enough to drink and had me dancing till morning.. aint matter that i had work the next morning, it was a PERFECT DAY

3. The Tuesday before that Friday.. Melly's and Jaksa.. an intelligent yet drunken conversation with an interesting friend until the morning sun came out. Had work and had too much to drink, it aint matter coz it was a PERFECT DAY

4. Monday, which comes before Tuesday (which we all know no thanks to Rebecca Black :p) @ Melly's, The beer tasted better with the company of dearest sister and an important friend. No worries about tommorow jz having a PERFECT DAY

(i realized all 4 that i had written were PERFECT DAYS filled with BOOZE... jz to be clear, i'm not an alcoholic :D)

5. Easter Sunday, playing anthakshari (indian songs game) with dearest sisters and followed by parents joining along all night (an exaggeration).. works piling up for tomorrow n a long day too aint matter coz it was a PERFECT DAY

6. Night before Easter, Easter dinner with close friends and Radio Dept concert (which i get to go to the backstage of sm sort, thanks to HANNAH :D).. PERFECT DAY

7. Good Friday, Birthday dinner for a dear friend, buying a 'power ranger' birthday cake and followed by beers at jaksa.. oh and meeting a best friend who came back in town after months :)))) beer tasted better than ever! and a ride home with catching up conversation... tomorrow aint matter coz it was a PERFECT DAY! :D

8. The beers at cho gao and the party at crown on a holiday in Melb, ending up on the couch at a fren's.. no worries of tomorrow, it was a PERFECT DAY

9. Road Trip to GReat Ocean ROad... aint matter we aint got no enough sleep the night before.. it was a PERFECT DAY

10. A late start on a saturday, lunch with friends, a lazy day at the rose garden, dinner at the spanish resto with yummy spanish food and sangria, a garage party we found on the way... and the moment i met u! asking u to open my corona...

Aint matter of anything else... IT WAS A PERFECT DAY :)))))

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was the perfect day

What I'd give if I could find a way to stay

lost in this moment now

Ain't worried about tomorrow when you're busy living in a perfect day.

-Lady Antebellum-

The reason for a reason

2011-04-26T10:46:00.000-07:00

God sent down His only Son to earth to wipe off all of our sin... That's what the bible tells us.. but i think there is another reason He sent Jesus to this earth as human.

When i was a little kid, not knowing what love or rejection is, i can never understand completely the stories, novels, comics that i read... especially all those about love and jealousy. What the hell is jealousy? is it that powerful that it leads people into dark rage and not seldom commit crimes? i used to naively think that those novels just exaggerate those feelings. Or the feeling to die for someone u love... duh! who wud wanna be that stupid?

until i myself endure love, pain of losing and jealousy, i could never understand those stories. But once i went through those emotions myself, right then i understood those stories and i felt them.

I think God is like me. He created people with emotions, but He Himself had no emotions... how could He? He's s'pose to be non-judgmental and ever loving and ever so fair. So He couldn't understand why humans could do bad things such as killing or stealing or hurting others.

He realizes although He had created humans as a mirror image of Him, they had a flaw... they have emotions, which He didn't plan on but just exist.

Actually He really didn't plan on giving humans emotions, but when He created Eve for Adam, He let the emotion grew in those two. And from that on the emotion grew and created other emotions...

God on the other hand was and is always alone, so He never developed emotions and thus can never understand human completely... and if He can't understand them, how is He to be non judgmental and all fair?

So He created (perhaps?) and sent His most precious person... His SON... Jesus on earth.. to suffer...

And when He watched His Son tortured and murdered, only then He knew of the existence of this so called emotions... and only then did He know of pain and only then did He understand...

Simple Questions

2011-02-01T10:08:00.000-08:00

Sometimes we take the simple things in our lives for granted and never really gave a thought or search for the answers. For the present world knowing how to create a website is valued more than the knowledge of simple sciences. But what we often forget that everything in the present starts and are based on simple sciences.

This is a piece for the book Polgara the sorceress by D.&L. Eddings where Polgara asked her father to tutor her. When her father, Belgarath, Wanted to start teaching Polgara by a simple means of reading, she rejected the idea. For her it is silly for a sorceress to learn how to read instead of how to manage her 'Gift'. She told her father that there would be nothing the ancient people wrote that would be of her need. And so she didn't need to learn how to read, Belgarath could just tell her the important things.

Smiling wisely Belgarath asked a series of question to the 'already smart' Polgara;

Belgarath: If you have two apples here and two apples over there, how many do you have altogether?

Polgara: Four apples, of course

Belgarath: Why?

Polgara: What do you mean, "Why?" It just is. Two apples and two apples are four apples. Any idiot knows that.

Belgarath: Since you're not an idiot, you shouldn't have any trouble explaining it to me, should you?

Belgarath: We can come back to that one later. Now then, when a tree falls way back in the forest, it makes a noise, right?

Polgara: Of course it does, father.

Belgarath: Very good, Pol. What is noise?

Polgara: Something we hear.

Belgarath: Excellent. You're really very perceptive, my daughter. There's a problem, though. What if there's nobody around to hear the noise? Is it really there, then?

Polgara: Certainly it is.

Belgarath: Why?

Polgara: Because -----

Belgarath: Let's set that one aside as well and move on. Do you think the sun is going to come up tomorrow morning?

Polgara: Well, naturally it will.

Belgarath: Why?

Polgara: Well, it always has, hasn't it?

Belgarath: Pressing right along then, Why does the moon change her shape during the course of a month?'
Why does water bubble when it gets hot?
Why can't we see color in the dark?
Why do tree leaves change color in the autumn?
Why does water get hard when it's cold? And why does it turn to steam when it gets hot?
If it's noon here, why is it midnight in Mallorea?
Does the sun go around the world, or does the world go around the sun?
Where do mountains come from?
What makes things grow?

-----------------------------------------------------------
And thus the ignorant Polgara was taught a lesson and agreed to learn from the basics.

What about us? Do you know the answers to all those questions? An observation of daily things...
Let us read ur answers to those "whys'

-RandoMind-

If I Ever See You Again

2011-01-31T08:46:00.000-08:00

If I ever see you again,

I would tell you how much I've missed you.

If I ever see you again,

I would tell you how I've never loved no one like I loved you

If I ever see you again,

I'd ask why did you leave?

If I ever see you again,

I'd ask where I went wrong?

If I ever see you again,

I'd ask you if you ever loved me even if it was just for a second...

-RandoMind-

Reputation

2011-01-22T22:13:00.000-08:00

My downfall is another's success...

My badnews is another's good..

My smiles is another's cry..

so y the hell are we still looking out for a reputation?

Feeling Blue

2011-01-19T22:29:00.000-08:00

Things that has passed always have a lesson learned..

Things are yet to come depends on our action at present

Things at present are results of our action from past.

If i could turn back the time, i would do it in a different way

But i can't, so i try to face with positivity

If i could undo what i did, i would erase all nuttiness

But i can't, so i move forward

Often i wonder, how would it be, had things been different?

-RandoMind-

HYPOCRITES

2011-01-18T22:27:00.000-08:00

One thing I hate

Hypocrites….

Most of the people I know, when asked what the dislike the most, would say liars. For me, I can still stand liars, I can’t stand hypocrites.

What’s the point of agreeing with a view when u trash it behind the speaker’s back?

What’s the point of going to temples/churches/mosques every time and still you talk behind people’s backs, you judge people and u gossip?

We live in a world of sheep where everyone has reached a moo point. They just follow the wave in unison. And even when sm ppl think otherwise, they dare not say it, afraid thth they would be pushed out of the comfort zone they are in already. And when sm1 really does stand up different n speak out loud what many has jz thought of, he is disregarded. He is called names and becomes an outcast.

Nobody dares to agree with him despite the fact that what he said what was they thought jz minutes before.

In a world where there is a shell closing the surrounding for the outside world. In a world where people believe in what they are told instead of what they experienced. In a world where nothing other than their believes are allowed. In a world that does not accept diversity. In the world that shallow, when a man stands different, he is called the fool.

His views wouldn’t be considered… not even listened may be. He is disregarded; he is trashed and called crazy. Jz because he is different.

In a shallow world that doesn’t accept diversity, being different is not understood. People fear what they fail to understand… and that fear brings them to crash him, who they call the fool.

Worse of all, are those who thinks he is right but are just afraid to say so, who does what he does but hidingly because they are afraid of the world to know and discard them, And so they follow others to crash him despite the fact that behind others they do what he does. These are the hypocrites. These are people with no values of their own. These are people who let others be their puppeteers and they just dance to the way others play their strings.

And these hypocrites are those I can’t stand of.

ps: this note is written purely on my views about human behaviors in a society/culture/place, and not to disregard any1.

Controversies

2011-01-11T01:12:00.000-08:00

We are sometimes consumed by our own selfishness, and that's alright... we are humans. Sometimes this selfishness becomes us, and we don't realize anymore that what we want is a form of selfishness.

As humans we reproduce, its the way it is... but hv we once thought, why do we want kids? as easily as saying 'shit happens' when things dun go our way, we say 'its jz a part of life' to have kids... but hv we once stopped and wonder... what good does it do to the kid by bringing him to the world?

The world is a dark place... no matter how much you say 'it depends on how we see it', the world has its dark corners... no matter how good we raise the kids we hv brought to this world, they r bound to share those dark corners at the end...

Pain, suffering, betrayal, lies, drugs, murders... all awaits for this innocent soul... and though through all that thus the soul evolve n grow, but is it worth it?

All has reasons and all is good... God made us and told us to occupy the world... but when u decide to have a kid with ur partner... is it this message of God that brings u to tht decision? or is it ur feeling n wanting to have sm1 or ur blood to continue ur family?

is it the thought of a baby to company u n cheer u up after work?

is it the thought of a kid to save ur marriage?

is it that thought that u want a son to continue ur business?

is it because u c others having their kids?

is it because the smile their kids bring to them, u want it too?

is it the thought of having ur kids to take care of u when u r old?

having a child is a blessing indeed... its a gift from God...It is a miracle...

but to have a child just to satisfy ur need... to satisfy ur wantings...isnt that a selfish thought? a selfish act?

A child when born, has his own soul n destiny.... we thought them all we know n all he needs to know... but at one point we gotta let that child go to fulfill his own destiny... not tell him to fulfill our wishes...

children are not puppets of their parents....

-RandoMind-

I Sit Alone

2011-01-05T19:47:00.000-08:00

Here I sit, alone

Things were said, things were done...

Time goes by and feelings ceased...

Here I sit, alone

A short dream came to an end...

Reality tasted bitter and i don't wanna wake up...

Shut my eyes tight and hope for the nightmare to end...

Here I sit, alone

Songs were sang, dreams were shared

Was it real? Was it an illusion?

Call me weak, call me stupid...

For now I sit, alone

-RandoMind-

Time Machine

2011-01-04T22:21:00.001-08:00

When my 14 years old sister asked me what would i do if i had my hands on a time machine, even before she added that i can't change the past that is related to my life, the first thing that came to my head was i would rent it and charge a lot for one use. And then use the money to travel :D

When then she added i could not change my life, i realized that i didn't want to. If i had anything that i regretted, anything i wanted to change, then that would have been my first thought and response. But it wasn't. At a glance, there wasn't anything i regretted, anything i wish i didn't do or something i wished i did. There wasn't a thing i wanted to change in my life. I smiled, content.

Then i took a moment to think about it. My sister triggered my brain to think if i could go back in time, what would i do or change about my past. Nothing comes to mind. Zilch! It surprised me yet made my smile wider.

Yes, there were times where i cry myself to bed regretting some things and wondered 'What ifs'. There were times where i wished i could change the past. Yes, I had those episodes, just like any normal human would.

But not that day... Not now. Everything that seemed like a curse at the time that it happened, now seems like a blessing. Everything that happened, everything i went through shaped me into who am i today. And guess what?! I love me today. Apart from losing a little weight and shaping up my bod, there is nothing i'd change about me now.

It made me realize that indeed everything i went through were blessings. Some are blessings in disguise of a fucking retard painful moments, but yea, they too were blessings.

The Universe does look out for us in Its own way. We subconsciously look out for ourselves and thus sometimes we take decisions we don't even know why. Those decisions aren't to be regretted, cause i believe they were the fruit of our subconscious mind looking out for us.

Perhaps it takes time to see it; that everything that happens has a reason behind it, a domino effect of the Universe. But the most important thing is just to go with it with a light heart and appreciate the things that come into our way, even the simplest things, to enjoy that domino effect. Just let it flow, just let it go and all the doubts would dissolve. The dark curtains fall off and life seems as bright as the sun.

May This Year Brings as Much Joy as The Last and Even More...

May This Year Brings as Much Knowledge as The Last and Even More...

May This Year Brings as Much Appreciation as The Last and Even More...

May This Year Brings as Much Wisdom as The Last and Even More...

Happy New Year 2011

-RandoMind-

Death Note

2010-12-28T21:34:00.000-08:00

Imagine one of the shinigamis (God of Death) drop his death note into ur lap. With it u have the power of killing any1 jz by writing down their name while rem their face and they will drop dead by heart attack within 40 sec.

If u write any other cause of death within 40 sec after writing their name, u have another 6 min n 4o sec to note down the details of how that person's gonna die.

Basically, imagine u play God as director and the world is ur stage... What would u do? Who would u kill? How would u do it?

Jz imagine for a minute and forget ur humanity... imagine death note is in your hand...n write down ur fantasy, it'll be fun.... :P

inspired by 'death note' comic created by tsugumi ohba & takeshi obata

-RandoMind-

Ada Kalanya

2010-12-22T23:03:00.000-08:00

Ada kalanya kita merasa sedih
Ada kalanya kita merasa bahagia
Ada kalanya kita menangis
Ada kalanya kita tertawa
Ada kalanya kita takut kehilangan
Ada kalanya kita melepaskan
Ada kalanya kita bertahan
Ada kalanya kita berjalan
Ada kalanya kita marah
Ada kalanya kita memaafkan
Ada kalanya kita membenci
Ada kalanya kita mencintai
Ada kalanya kita kehilangan
Ada kalanya kita mendapatkan

Begitu banyak bentuk emosi… yg indah dan membuat kita tersenyum dan yang buruk yang membuat kita melakukan hal-hal yg nantinya akan kita sesalkan…

Anehnya untuk menulis sesuatu yg indah diperlukan emosi yg membuat kita menangis, cemberut, bersedih…

Dari semua hasil seni dari, semua lagu… semua yg indah dilihat, dibaca, didengarkan adalah hasil inspirasi ketika sang creator sedang dalam dilema, dalam kesedihan, kemarahan, kesepian….

Aneh… kenapa sesuatu yg membuat kita sedih dapat menciptakan sesuatu yg indah dan mengharukan?

-RandoMind-

Avalanche

2010-12-19T20:05:00.000-08:00

Something's wrong but i can't put a finger on it
my heart can't stop beating so hard
as tho i knew an avalanche was coming
and yet i couldn't move and i stood still

This emotion i feel,
i cant give it a name
its a mix of everything real
n yet nothing concrete

An avalanche is coming
i'm on its way
i have to move..
n yet i stood still

there was a look i remember
the look of a person in despair
the look in the eyes of those who gave up
do i have that look now? i wonder

it is like when u know ur time is up
and yet u dun wanna leave just yet
u try to hold on but its no use
u know nothing can stop what's coming

An avalanche is speeding towards me
of what is it, i dunno
had i known, i wud be prepared
oh how i wish i knew

could i be saved before it's too late?
but don't pull me put once im under
coz if nothing could stop the avalanche
then most definitely nothing could save me

-RandoMind-

Understanding Why People Insult Others

2010-12-18T05:09:00.000-08:00

This is not my writing, it was originally posted in Paulo Coelho's blog

In The Tokyo Subway;

Terry Dobson was traveling on the Tokyo subway when a drunk got on and began to insult all the passengers.

Dobson, who had studied martial arts for some years, challenged the man.

"What do you want?" asked the drunk.

Dobson got ready to attack him. Just then, an old man sitting on one of the seats shouted: "Hey!"

"I’ll beat the foreigner, then I’ll beat you!" said the drunk.

"I like to drink, too," said the old man. "I sit every afternoon with my wife, and we drink sake. Are you married?"

The drunk was confused, and replied: "I have no wife, I have no one. I’m just so terribly ashamed."

The old man asked the drunk to sit beside him. By the time Dobson got off, the man was in tears.

From:

http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2010/12/15/in-the-tokyo-subway/

Who You Wanna Be

2010-12-13T20:15:00.000-08:00

I've seen people with problems trying to dissolve those problems with alcohol, drugs or even by putting on a mask of an ignorant jerk..

I've heard people blaming others for their sufferings, blaming things that had happened to them as a reason of the being jerks or acting like ass-es

And then i encounter these people judging other people, calling em names, telling em what to do, accuse em of things that aren't even true...

I get it that people that had been hurt once too many times , got betrayed by their closet people, tend to shut themselves up and becomes bitter n hard to trust any1 else...

but must these people start making negative assumptions about people around them?

Must they always think of the worse of everything?

and then they end up hurting people they claim to care the most and one day lose them forever...

things always happen for a reason... whether its a positive reasoning or negative, it's always up 2 us...

shit happens time to time... its upon us to make the best of it or to sulk and blame it for the reason of our failure...

u r who u want 2 be... there are always choices...

every once in a while, we find ourselves fall into the darkest pit... now only great people has the guts to climb back up again and be a better man and becomes more alert knowing that there are other dark pits ahead... while weak men with ignorance would just stay at that dark pit thinking things can't get worse and forever stay there... too afraid to come out of it and fall into another pit... for them, at least where they are, they know it well

guess what... it is not the strongest men that survive... it is those who are flexible and easily adaptable to changes...

-RandoMind-

All About Love

2010-12-13T08:08:00.000-08:00

Being in love is the best gift and at the same time the worst curse.

Being in love is a great risk, but what's life without risk :)

Once in love, will always love

Pain caused by love hurts more than a stab by the sword

Obsession is a part of love, jealousy is the other side of the coin.

When u question ur feelings, its never love

How do u know u r in love? u just know

-RandoMind-

Man of God

2010-12-12T09:18:00.001-08:00

Toota toota ek parinda aise toota (टूटा टूटा एक परिंदा ऐसे टूटा)

Eng: A Fairy (bird) was broken as such

Ke phir jud naa paaya (के फिर जुड़ ना पाया)

Eng: That he couldn't be fixed again

Loota loota kisne usko aise loota (लूटा लूटा किसने उसको ऐसे लूटा)

Eng: Somebody stole from his as such

Ke phir ud naa paaya (के फिर उड़ ना पाया)

Eng: That he couldn't fly again

O o o o

Toota toota ek parinda aise toota (टूटा टूटा एक परिंदा ऐसे टूटा)

Eng: A Fairy (bird) was broken as such

Ke phir jud naa paaya (के फिर जुड़ ना पाया)

Eng: That he couldn't be fixed again

Loota loota kisne usko aise loota (लूटा लूटा किसने उसको ऐसे लूटा)

Eng: Somebody stole from his as such

Ke phir ud naa paaya (के फिर उड़ ना पाया)

Eng: That he couldn't fly again

Girta hua woh asmaan se (गिरता हुआ वोह आस्मां से)

Eng: Falling from the sky

Aakar gira zameen par (आकर गिरा ज़मीन पर)

Eng: He hit the ground

Khwabon mein phir bhi badal hi the (ख्वाबों में फिर भी बदल ही थे)

Eng: Still, In his dreams were the clouds

Woh kehta raha magar (वोह कहता रहा मगर)

Eng: But he kept on saying (reciting)

Reff:

Ke allah ke bande hasde allah ke bande (के अल्लाह के बन्दे हसदे अल्लाह के बन्दे)

Eng: That Man of God keep smiling oh Man of God

Allah ke bande hasde jo bhi ho kal phir aayega (अल्लाह के बन्दे हसदे जो भी हो कल फिर आएगा)

Eng: Man of God keep smiling, whatever it is (happens), tomorrow it (chance) will come again

Allah ke bande hasde allah ke bande (अल्लाह के बन्दे हसदे अल्लाह के बन्दे)

Eng: Man of God keep smiling oh Man of God

Allah ke bande hasde jo bhi ho kal phir aayega (अल्लाह के बन्दे हसदे जो भी हो कल फिर आएगा)

Eng: Man of God keep smiling, whatever happens, tomorrow chance will come again

Kho ke aapne par hi to usne tha ud naa sikha (खो के आपने पर ही तो उसने था उड़ ना सिखा)

Eng: Only after losing his wings did he learned to fly

Kho ke aapne par hi to o o o (खो के आपने पर ही तो o o o)

Eng: Only after losing his wings

Kho ke aapne par hi to usne tha ud naa sikha (खो के आपने पर ही तो उसने था उड़ ना सिखा)

Eng: Only after losing his wings did he learned to fly

Gham ko aapne saath mein lele dard bhi tere kaam aayega (ग़म को आपने साथ में लेले दर्द भी तेरे काम आएगा)

Eng: Take your sorrows with you, for the pain will also be of use to you

Reff:

Allah ke bande hasde allah ke bande (अल्लाह के बन्दे हसदे अल्लाह के बन्दे)

Eng: Man of God keep smiling oh Man of God

Allah ke bande hasde jo bhi ho kal phir aayega (अल्लाह के बन्दे हसदे जो भी हो कल फिर आएगा)

Eng: Man of God keep smiling, whatever it is (happens), tomorrow it (chance) will come again

Allah ke bande hasde allah ke bande (अल्लाह के बन्दे हसदे अल्लाह के बन्दे)

Eng: Man of God, keep smiling oh Man of God

Allah ke bande hasde jo bhi ho kal phir aayega (अल्लाह के बन्दे हसदे जो भी हो कल फिर आएगा)

Eng: Man of God keep smiling, whatever happens, tomorrow chance will come again

Tukde tudke ho gaya tha har sapna jab woh toota (टुकड़े टुकड़े हो गया था हर सपना जब वोह टूटा)

Eng: (all of) His dreams were shattered when he fell (apart)

Tukde tudke ho gaya tha aa aaa aa (टुकड़े तुद्के हो गया था aa aaa aa)

Eng: Shattered to pieces

Tukde tudke ho gaya tha har sapna jab woh toota (टुकड़े तुद्के हो गया था हर सपना जब वोह टूटा)

Eng: all of his dreams were shattered when he fell (apart)

Bhikre tukdon mein allah ki marzi ka manzar paayega (भिकरे टुकड़ों में अल्लाह की मर्ज़ी का मंज़र पायेगा)

Eng: In those broken pieces is (he will find) God's wish (aim/will)

Reff:

Allah ke bande hasde allah ke bande (अल्लाह के बन्दे हसदे अल्लाह के बन्दे)

Eng: Man of God, keep smiling oh Man of God

Allah ke bande hasde jo bhi ho kal phir aayega (अल्लाह के बन्दे हसदे जो भी हो कल फिर आएगा)

Eng: Man of God keep smiling, whatever happens, tomorrow chance will come again

Allah ke bande hasde allah ke bande (अल्लाह के बन्दे हसदे अल्लाह के बन्दे)

Eng: Man of God, keep smiling oh Man of God

Allah ke bande hasde jo bhi ho kal phir aayega (अल्लाह के बन्दे हसदे जो भी हो कल फिर आएगा)

Eng: Man of God keep smiling, whatever happens, tomorrow chance will come again

Toota toota ek parinda aise toota (टूटा टूटा एक परिंदा ऐसे टूटा)

Eng: A Fairy was broken as such

Ke phir jud naa paaya (के फिर जुड़ ना पाया)

Eng: That he couldn't be fixed again

Loota loota kisne usko aise loota (लूटा लूटा किसने उसको ऐसे लूटा)

Eng: Somebody stole from his as such

Ke phir ud naa paaya (के फिर उड़ ना पाया)

Eng: That he couldn't fly again

Girta hua woh asmaan se (गिरता हुआ वोह आस्मां से)

Eng: Falling from the sky

Aakar gira zameen par (आकर गिरा ज़मीन पर)

Eng: He hit the ground

Khwabon mein phir bhi badal hi the (ख्वाबों में फिर भी बदल ही थे)

Eng: Still, In his dreams were the clouds

Woh kehta raha magar (वोह कहता रहा मगर)

Eng: But he kept on saying (reciting)

Reff:

Ke allah ke bande hasde allah ke bande (के अल्लाह के बन्दे हसदे अल्लाह के बन्दे)

Eng: That Man of God, keep smiling oh Man of God

Allah ke bande hasde jo bhi ho kal phir aayega (अल्लाह के बन्दे हसदे जो भी हो कल फिर आएगा)

Eng: Man of God keep smiling, whatever it is (happens), tomorrow it (chance) will come again

Allah ke bande hasde allah ke bande (अल्लाह के बन्दे हसदे अल्लाह के बन्दे)

Eng: Man of God, keep smiling oh Man of God

Allah ke bande hasde jo bhi ho kal phir aayega (अल्लाह के बन्दे हसदे जो भी हो कल फिर आएगा)

Eng: Man of God keep smiling, whatever happens, tomorrow chance will come again

Allah ke bande hasde allah ke bande (अल्लाह के बन्दे हसदे अल्लाह के बन्दे)

Eng: Man of God, keep smiling oh Man of God

Allah ke bande hasde jo bhi ho kal phir aayega (अल्लाह के बन्दे हसदे जो भी हो कल फिर आएगा)

Eng: Man of God keep smiling, whatever happens, tomorrow chance will come again

Allah ke bande hasde allah ke bande (अल्लाह के बन्दे हसदे अल्लाह के बन्दे)

Eng: Man of God, keep smiling oh Man of God

Allah ke bande hasde jo bhi ho kal phir aayega (अल्लाह के बन्दे हसदे जो भी हो कल फिर आएगा)

Eng: Man of God keep smiling, whatever happens, tomorrow chance will come again

http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/k/kailash_kher/#share

Sluts and Strippers

2010-12-09T23:39:00.000-08:00

Many have judged n throw their faces away from those who work as sluts or strippers... they spit on those who they think are the cause of a breaking of a household.

Many resent those who work for little money by satisfying all the beasts lust night after night...

Yes there are other ways of earning some food but for us who have been brought up in our own palace, we tend to ignore the problem outside our castle. These girls merely 20 came to town for work to get some money just enough to feed their families...they never planned of being a sexual worker...

But the hard life, the minimum amount of work opening force them to chose that work that is taboo for others...

Yes, perhaps many chose these line of work cause they just wanna get the easier way... some may also do it for their satisfaction and perhaps drugs.... But many are doing it as sacrifices.... to pay for their son's/little sibling's food n education, parents medication... their own survivals...

Being a sexual worker is also a job... a way to earn white money... just like we do what we do in our own professions... these workers are better than those who work but corrupt... those who eat other people's money and live like they are the purest amongst all...

As far as breaking a house... blame the men to actually chose to go to them....they are just doing their work

Jz a thought... pardon for any rudeness or if this note has offended any of those who read it :)

-RandoMind-

Oh Happy Days

2010-12-04T10:09:00.000-08:00

Today i had a pleasant surprise when my elementary school teacher walked in to my office for a check up. It's not that i am happy she was ill, but i was glad that she could remember me. She even remembered my name. It took her a while but then she did remember my name.

She was my teacher when i was in grade 3, and i remember that i was a troubled student at that time. Perhaps that's why she remembered me, or it could simply be the fact that i was the only indian student in her class that she still remembered me after all this year. Either way, i was so excited and happy.

She couldn't take her eyes of me while i was checking her and explaining to her about her condition. She kept smiling until i felt nervous and groggy. I told her i felt like i was in an exam... my elementary teacher seeing if i had become the person she once a hand in building, if i were a good doctor and if i were a good person.

She laughed and told me she was awed and proud to see me, once her 'troubled' student, sitting in the doctor's office with a white coat and explaining her. She started chattering about how she was gonna tell her colleagues who were also once my teachers how she got treated by me.

I was happy and nervous at the same time. The feeling that my teacher saw my success and was proud of me was out of the world. I was happy and content and all. But i was nervous and scared.. what if the medicine didn't work or if my diagnosis was wrong. I dun her to think that i was that person... the one that completed her studies but wasn't skilled at the field...

well anyways, all in all.. i had a pretty good day and excitement and pride.

Thank you Ms. Lestari for being an awesome teacher :)

-RandoMind-

Barriers = Ice Tray

2010-11-28T21:19:00.001-08:00

Today my mom said that there is a guy who wants to know me... n when i asked why? she said he thought i was a good girl from a good family...

I started laughing.. 'a good girl from a good family'.. who is he or any1 to judge that? Do i really seemed to be a good girl? Well it doesn't matter.. cause nobody can know me the way i do n im nt what i potray...

What is good n bad anyway? Who created the criteria of bad n good?

When we were born, there is this barriers made by our parents, family, school, temples, churches, etc etc n the expect us to grow into it... They form us like how water is formed into ices with different shapes by the ice trays. I think that spoils our personality, our character our own self...

The mid life crisis happens when ppl realize that they grew into smthn that is not what they wanted but into somethn the society wants... n tho it was a lil bit late, they start trying to discoever themselves..

We are born free n free should we be. Life the flowing water... not like the cold hard ices.

I respect those who broke all the barriers and flow like the flowing water... letting themselves be who they really want. Those are the people who will succeed as a person as some1 who would always have their head held high. I envy them smtms :)

I'm on the way there but every few meters there is this dam that stops me flowing n everytime there is a person who breaks it for me... for all those people i am very thankful.

Spread ur wings n fly.. see the world from a distance and you will discover life's colorful... its all bind together and the extremes barely exist :)

RunAway

2010-11-24T08:56:00.000-08:00

When everything else seems so heavy to digest, when the shadow of darkness lurked on my evil mind, i run to one safe place where i could be my self and write whatever shit i like.

i used to do this on a piece of paper, but since i discover the world of blogging, i thought: hey y not see what other thinks of what i have in my head?

i think blogs should be equalized as any other journalistic approach. I mean come on! we write articles, stories, things that happened. Some brilliant bloggers use their blogs to report news, or travels or anythings else... how is it different than journalism?

Well it's a thought... the reason i started rambling at the first place is because i could feel my mortal enemy lurking back into my mind and heart... JEALOUSY!

I try to remember when was the first time i ever felt jealous.. n im not talking about 'she stole my bf' kinda jealous, but jealous because i realize or thought that the other person is better than me.

i guess the first person i remember being jealous about is my sister. She seems to have accomplished everything i wanted to do and is so fucking amazing tht i cnt help but to sometimes hate her. Ah well thinking about this makes my heart beat goes faster and i know if i continue analyzing about this i will start feeling low and worth-less.

so moving on, why suddenly today i feel that enemy of mind lurking in my heart again? well for starters somehow i got reminded how the guy i love chose another gal.. oh n what makes it worse, she is fantastic! i cnt even bitch about her if it isnt a lie. well anyways, whats done is done... so i try letting it go.

Then as the devil lurks in facebook.. when i opened my profile i saw something that made me jealous even worse than the fact i mentioned above. I have always loved writing and it has been my passion since i was just a tiny kid. I rem sitting in the first grade writing short stories and sharing it with my bench buddy "wira" who wud also write a short story and share it with me. That was the first time i realized i loved writing... so i kept on writing an writing and writing and kept dreaming of publishing a novel in the future..

Writing is my passion! i didn't follow anyone or even had a role model for it. I just took a pen and started noting down all the imaginations i had.

As i grow up along with stories, i write blogs, poems, little pieces of thoughts and maybe not many people liked it or followed it but tht one person did and encouraged me and i wrote more.

Anyhow.... today some1 came up to me on fb and said 'i read some of ur notes... u write pretty well, u wanna be like ----- ya?" ---- is a friend of ours from the same society who i recalled started writing or created a blog (in friendster at tht time) months after i did!

And perhaps even ---- started writing very young or whatever... but honestly y was i compared to ----

it annoys me! and further more the friend who asked me that continued with '---- writes so good, ---- should publish a book. You too should publish a book together'

perhaps it was my bias towards ---- or maybe i jz didn't like the material that --- keep on discussing, i think --- writings aren't as interesting and i noticed that --- kept on repeating same topics or same core since years ago.

I realized this coz i used to be so interested in reading ----'s notes/blogs and now they dun excite me anymore, it was more like of a 'eeeehhh what's new' feeling..

i take tht as a sign tht i hv evolved and --- hasn't n thus what --- thinks or writes dun match with my thoughts any more coz--- kept circling on the same drain again and again and again..

well i know there is no point of this particular post, so i apologize to those of u who have read it till the end and realized it was a waste of time.

before i end just one more thing... i think the most dangerous vice is jealousy.... man how it plays in my head and leave me restless while the other person is probably sleeping peacefully knowing nothnih

Peace out!

-RandoMind-

Survival of The Fittest

2010-11-21T17:40:00.001-08:00

We often find ourselves in a situation where the people we value the most let us down. Or that the 1 person we hv trusted with our heart n soul has betrayed us. N then we wondered how, when did it start? how is it that we didn't see it coming...
Then we curse... We find excuse to blame others, we get hurt, we get angry n lose hope in humanity n friendship.

We often forget that change is unavoidable. We forget that and get attached to the idea of smthn or sm1 and dun let go. N when that particular thing/ person changes... We claim they hv let us down, when infact we let ourselves down in letting ourselves get attached to smthn that keeps on changing.

So what is the hurt we feel, the anger, the betrayal... What do we do with that? Who do we blame?

No1 is to blame, things change n we cnt fight it. We shud be thankful instead on the things that happen to us.

It is at the most threathened position thus then living things know their true potentials.

When we get hurt, let down by others... When everything seems wrong n the world seems to hv crashed on our shoulders... That's when our trueselves are being tested.

In times like that, we still struggle to survive, to come out of it and to learn frm it. That shows strength, courage, bravery, skills, and faith to never give up.

It is nt until we get so hurt tht we know our true strength to survive. It is nt until our being is threathened tht we realize we have so much more in us that we thought.

So dun sulk n find blames when u ever find urself in that position u dun like... Instead dig deep n find ur courage and your one true self...

:)

-RandoMind-

A Moment of Weakness

2010-11-19T22:56:00.000-08:00

Ever wonder why when we need them the most, the people we need aren't available?

Ever wonder why the hell still we care about the person who hurt us?

Ever think that we've done alot for a person and been there for him all the time but when we need them the most... they wont hear us? Even if we just need a minute, just to hear his voice...

Ever wonder, when a relationship goes bad, if all we did was just a waste of time and energy?

Ever wonder if anything we do is worth the prize or consequences?

Ever thought of quitting?

Things had gotten though in the past, more than a couple of times but friends and family were always there to push me up again and continue...

Now... now i just wanna quit!!! no more studying, no more hard work...

I need a rest...

I need a reason to continue...

I need to hear ur voice

I need u 2 tell me everything's worthed

I need u to lean on.....

I need u just for a moment of weaknes...

-RandoMind-

Tired

2010-11-17T20:39:00.001-08:00

Is it the thought of u that has been bugging me,
or the thought that u left me...

Do i really miss you?,
or i just can't be the one defeated..

Do i still want you,
or it is juz that i can't stand to lose

i'm tired... i need my sleep back
can we stop fighting and just be friends?

-RandoMind-

Waking Up..

2010-11-14T22:57:00.000-08:00

why oh why does this heart cry
seems like it can never fly
feeling so heavy,
yet i dunno why

there is an angel at my door
urging me to explore
the world beyond my door
yet i cant find a reason a for

i love you my dear
but oh i fear
my past left me with tear
and your heart i can't hear

what path i take
is what i make
of the future that isn't fake
so give it time to wake

one thing i know
i love u so
so leave me not
coz without u i live not

-RandoMind-

Tainted

2010-11-11T20:19:00.001-08:00

I've given my heart to one and no other...

He held it 2 tight he crushed it...

Broken hearts i can endure...

I've surrendered my thoughts to one and no other..

He toyed with my mind like a bouncy ball being tossed...

Mind trickery i can overcome...

I've breath my soul to one and no other...

He sucked all of it out of me...

Losing my soul i lost myself...

In the realm of darkness now i reside...

As the shine of my wings were tainted with his presence...

-RandoMind-

A Beautiful Mind

2010-11-11T00:18:00.000-08:00

People with Schizophrenia has two main pathological disorders; delusions and hallucinations. Usually the hallucinations, which can be visual, auditory or even olfactory, come first and then triggered the delusions.

In addition, many of these schizophrenic patients are loners... the odd ones out from their society and community. And very often they are brilliant people with great ideas and superb brains. These characteristics were portrayed in the brilliant matemathician 'John Nash', in the movie 'A beautiful Mind'.

Watching the movie, and seeing patients in the psychiatric department when i had my rotation as a 'co-as', i noticed that the common thing among the schizophrenics and paranoid patients is that they are mostly alone. They have limited interactions with people and most of them don't like interacting with other people.

This made me think... the hallucinations occur to these lonely people because even though they shut themselves out from the world and though they think they are better alone, they still needed someone.

We all, as human; normal human with empathy that is (not psychopaths), always are social beings. Although sometimes our ego deny it, we always need someone, some interactions. And that is why the hallucinations come to these loners... they were incapable to make real contact, but they wanted some1.

The hallucinations are usually of people that they ultimately would like, or some1 that has same characteristics of them. These hallucinations of other people are just chips from their own conscience and thus they get attached to these hallucinations. Although they aren't real, these hallucinations help the patients in their thinking and thoughts.

Brilliant people are mostly crazy... sometimes, literally....

:)

-RandoMind-

If Only

2010-11-08T22:11:00.000-08:00

if only life was as simple as writing on a piece of paper with a pencil,
i would erase all the things i regretted and filled the blanks with things i think i shud hv done...

if only love was as simple as playing games,
then it wud just take a second to read the instructions and play my best...

if only the future was as clear as the morning sky,
then it wudnt have been confusing to make choices...

if only everything and every1 has a tag on em showing their value and their minds...
it wud hv been easy to know which,who,what suits me best

if only life was written as a script and given to me to read it...
it wud hv just been a pleasant journey of acting with knowing how it ends

if only love was as simple as drinking tea and throwing the leaves out when i'm done without a second thought..
my heart wudnt ache every time i think of u...

-RandoMind-

Halloween Special

2010-11-07T22:15:00.000-08:00

GROSS REALITY TESTING ABILITY IMPAIRMENT

I was walking down the hospital's corridor when I saw him, a little boy sitting
alone on a bench in the waiting room front of the doctor's office. I looked at
the sign, it was child's psychiatry clinic. I smiled. In these years of Clinical
internship I have developed a certain interest in Psychiatry and in children. I
love to hear how a child thinks and how a so called 'crazy' person thinks. They
are both different from us, the routine following normal boring people. I love
the fact that their view of the world is completely different and I love
listening to it.

I didn't have any important schedule that afternoon, so i decided to sit next to
this small boy, perhaps i could get him talking. He was wearing a white polo shirt with knee length blue jeans. He had a baseball cap on and he was looking down, the shadow of his cap made it impossible for me to see his face.

"Hey" I said, taking a seat next to him.

"Hey" he murmured without looking up.

"What's ur name?" I asked. He kept quiet and shook his head.

"Who did you come with?" I asked again, trying another question perhaps he would wanna answer.

"Mommy.." he answered shortly.

"Where is she?"

"Busy" Again another one word answer. He was still not looking up to see who he was talking to.

"Have you come to see the doctor?" I asked, yet again trying to get him to converse. There was something about him that intrigued me. Flashes of bits of memory crossed my head, they weren't clear and i ignored it.

The small boy nodded without a word.

"Do you know why have u come to see the doctor?"

"Cause i'm sick..." he said

"I see..."

"I'm sick in here u see..." He pointed a finger to his temple and looked at me for a second before he stared back at the floor.

I caught a glimpse of his face, my head hurt.. Flashes of memories were now filling up my head. I closed my eyes tight to get rid of them.

"What makes you say that?" for God knows what reason, my mouth blurted out that question without the approval of my brain.

"Mommy said so.." he said. This time his voice was a little bit cheerful, or was it jz my imagination? I could see from the side of his face that a smile was curling up.

The pain in my head was now stabbing at a constant rate to my brain. I pressed my fingertips to each side of my temple and closed my eyes tight again, in hope to get rid of the pain.

Flashes of memories were playing behind my eye lids... I couldn't figure out wat they are, but there was a boy...

"Mommy!" the boy in my memory called out. His voice annoyed me. Stop calling me mommy... I thought.

"Why... urgh.. why did she say that?" I wondered quietly while my eyes were still closed. But the little boy must have heard it coz his voice were filling my ears with his answer.

"I'm a bad boy.. mommy said so. I made mommy cry and scream, I spoil things, Mommy said i was a curse, Mommy said i shouldn't be born. I tried to be a good boy... I don't wanna see mommy cry, but she still does and she screams at me even though i've been quiet and still.."

The pain in my head was radiating... i can't stand it i want it to stop... I want him to stop talking but he continued. My mouth moved as i wanted to stop him but no voice come out.

"But I try... I try to be a good boy. I wan mommy to love me, to hug me..." he said and tapped on my hand calling me. For a moment the pain vanished, i open my eyes and looked at him, he was staring right back at me, there was an eerie smile on his face.

"Why won't mommy hug me? I've been a good boy..." his little lips moved as those words filled my head with its echos.

Flashes filled my brain in red; of a boy crying.. some1 was slapping him... Why is she doing that? The small boy hit the wall behind him and she didn't stop hitting him. He was bleeding, he didn't move anymore, but she was still screaming at him and beating him. Why is she doing that? somebody stop her... y isn't any1 helping the boy?

"Mommy?" That voice again. The boy in front of me was smiling at me and spread his arms out as though he wanted me to hug him. And in a flash of a second he started seizing and fell down the bench. I reached him and held him sideways as we were all thought to handle a seizing patient. He was having a convulsion and his foam started to form in his mouth.

"Somebody help! Diazepam 5 mg STAT!" I shouted. It was after all a psychiatry clinic, they must have emergency medicines like muscle relaxant to calm patients down.

I saw two male nurses walking towards us.

"Quickly!!! this boy is seizing!" i said frantically

As they were approaching, i felt tears run down my face. There were terror, sadness and regrets building up inside me. As they came close i reached out to get the diazepam sup, but the didn't hand it to me. Instead one of them held my hands tightly.

"What are you doing? This boy needs help. I'm a doctor! Just give me the medicine!!" I screamed frantically and kicking the floors as the male nurse tried to pull me up. "Stop this! let me go!" I screamed again.

And at that moment the other nurse had stabbed my thigh with something, and as my consciousness began to blur, i assumed it was a strong tranquilizer.

Everything went black.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As i blinked to adjust my eyes to the bright light, I could hear people talking not far away from where i was.

I realized i was on a bed in a room with white ceilings and walls. It was at day i realized when i saw the sun light entering through a small window at the end of the room. The room seems familiar, it felt familiar. It was one of the joined rooms in the psych ward.

Things seems to not make sense. Why am i on a bed in the psych ward. I tried to move but my body was stiff, or was i still weak from the dose of tranquilizer i was given. I tried to focus until i could hear more clearly.

A woman was talking in a narrative tone.

"Patient Sania, 39 years old, admitted 1 week ago.." she said. She was talking about me. And i realize this was ward round, she was an intern or resident reporting my case.

My case? I don't have a case... I'm not a patient, i'm an intern!! n i'm 23 years old not 39.

"She was diagnosed with Major depressive disorder 15 years ago which started off as post partum depression that wasn't managed well 20 years ago after givi9ng birth to a fatherless baby." She started her report. Next she would tell the live story of the patient. I listen closely. Me? Post partum depression? Can't be, I never gave birth, I'm still an second year intern, i'm only 20 years old not 39. There must be another patient with same name as mine. This must be her case.

"15 years ago, Patient was an intern starting her 3rd year when she was diagnosed after having her 5 years old son accidentally killed. Patient was a single mother, gave birth 20 years ago, when she was 18 in the middle of her second year of medical school and went into post partum depression right after, diagnosed in this hospital 3 months after she gave birth and treated for it with (drug name) and psychotherapy. There was no support system. The father of the baby, her long time lover had bailed and her parents were still dealing with their divorce at that time to focus on her.

"Struggling with medical school and a new born baby, her post partum depression wasn't managed well, which is suspected to have had led to a depressive disorder. 15 years ago, she had beaten her son to death and admitted to the psych ward with pscyhotic symptoms. All the while patient denied she had a child or even killed him. Later, after a series of mental testing, she was diagnosed with major depressive disorder with symptoms of psychosis.

"Patient underwent a series of medication and psychotherapy and two consecutive electro convulsive therapy (ECT). And had been in and out the psych ward since then.

"A week ago, patient had an episode of anger and was harmful to herself and others and was admitted by her family. Patients still undergoes anti depressive and anti psychosis treatment (Dug name and dosage).

"Two days ago patient was found screaming uncontrollably about a boy in the common room and was given a dose of Haloperidol and patient had been under since."

She completed her report...

My head was spinning... Flashes of memory started to fill my head again, The small boy's voice calling "mommy" echoed. The pain was back..

"That was good, but a couple of corrections... when reporting a patient you should do it chronologically, not jumping up and down..." A stronger male voice was saying, he must be the attending teaching the young intern..

His voice went slower as it was drown in a loud shriek... i felt strong arms on mine again and another stab on my thigh.

Y r they sedating me again? It wasn't me screaming..... or was it?

And once again everything was black.

~Fin~

Suffocation

2010-11-01T19:14:00.001-07:00

I miss u beyond words

I want you beyond desires

I live in the present but the past makes me thrill

I deny myself but i need u

I content myself but i still want u

The future has no shape... let's shape it together

It seems like my heart has decided 2 slow down

It has decided that without u it has no power

My mind stops

My lungs collapse

The only thing keeping me alive is the thot of having to see u again one day

-RandoMind-

Cool Religion!!

2010-10-30T21:14:00.000-07:00

Hinduism is the coolest religion ever!!! we have at least 100 Gods/Goddesses to chose from who to pray to... that if we do wanna pray... and the coolest thing tho is that those Gods/Goddesses have their own thing and their thing is cool

Shiva... is a stonner... he drinks BHANGE to get high which btw is made of marijuana extract... so we have a stoned God here... (ever wonder why all his pics/statues have His eyes half closed?) he is stoned most of the time... live by fruits n leaves and have human ashes all over his body... n we pray to Him. Imagine if any1 else pulls such a stunt.... he will be cursed n fingers will be pointed at him n his families n every1 associated with him...but well if Shiva does it... y cnt any1 else?

Krishna...he flirted with all the Gopis in Gokul n the neighboring village. Married 16000 women n satisfies each of them every singe nite... n yet he says his heart belongs to Radha... if a man marries more than 1 woman, y is he cursed then??? as long as he could satisfy n cover all the women needs... he is not doing any sin.

Dewi Ma... she has so much rage n anger within her... she jz takes her sword n chop off tht dude's head! how cool is tht??

Rama... yes... he did everything by the book... letting Sita get kidnapped so tht He cud kill Ravan... then not trusting his ever pure wife told her to walk into the fire to prove she is still pure. N as if the torture to Sita is not enuf, he sends her to the jungle when she was pregnant because he did not want his public to think he wasnt strong enough as man tht he accepted his wife back even tho she had stayed in sm other dude's palace for year. And when her kids came to Rama, he did not believe they were his... he still doubted Sita... n tht was the last strike! she let the earth took her in back...

now do u still wonder y men in India treat their wives like shit? coz the lord they pray to every single morning did the same thing years ago.... go figure!

Bhrama lied to Shiva n Vishnu jz so that he has fame as the highst God

See,,, how colorful HIndu religion is???

A stonner, a flirt, an anger driven warrior princess, a king that puts other people's view first, and an ego maniac liar...as Gods/Goddesses

so well... y r we judged then? when our Gods do what we do as well?

ps: no offence to u all fanatics.... i know there is a reason behind every character of these gods/goddesses... n i keep on learning about them so no... i didnt right this down based on superficial judgement... n yes i do know the religious stories... i wrote this jz for fun... for a laugh n well to show tht we all cn relax coz Gods do stupid stuffs 2 :)

Must Read :)

2010-10-28T20:51:00.000-07:00

Sayang kalau kiriman artikel berikut ini dilewatkan begitu saja. Selamat membacanya.

**********
LIMA belas tahun lalu saya pernah mengajukan protes pada guru sebuah sekolah
tempat anak saya belajar di Amerika Serikat.

Masalahnya, karangan berbahasa Inggris yang ditulis anak saya seadanya itu telah
diberi nilai E (excellence) yang artinya sempurna, hebat, bagus sekali. Padahal
dia baru saja tiba di Amerika dan baru mulai belajar bahasa. Karangan yang dia
tulis sehari sebelumnya itu pernah ditunjukkan kepada saya dan saya
mencemaskan kemampuan verbalnya yang terbatas. Menurut saya tulisan itu buruk,
logikanya sangat sederhana.

Saya memintanya memperbaiki kembali, sampai dia menyerah. Rupanya karangan
itulah yang diserahkan anak saya kepada gurunya dan bukan diberi nilai buruk,
malah dipuji. Ada apa? Apa tidak salah memberi nilai? Bukankah pendidikan
memerlukan kesungguhan? Kalau begini saja sudah diberi nilai tinggi, saya
khawatir anak saya cepat puas diri. Sewaktu saya protes, ibu guru yang menerima
saya hanya bertanya singkat. "Maaf Bapak dari mana?" "Dari Indonesia," jawab
saya. Dia pun tersenyum.

Budaya Menghukum

Pertemuan itu merupakan sebuah titik balik yang penting bagi hidup saya. Itulah
saat yang mengubah cara saya dalam mendidik dan membangun masyarakat.

"Saya mengerti," jawab ibu guru yang wajahnya mulai berkerut, namun tetap
simpatik itu. "Beberapa kali saya bertemu ayah-ibu dari Indonesia yang
anak-anaknya dididik di sini,"lanjutnya. "Di negeri Anda, guru sangat sulit
memberi nilai. Filosofi kami mendidik di sini bukan untuk menghukum, melainkan
untuk merangsang orang agar maju. Encouragement! " Dia pun melanjutkan
argumentasinya.

"Saya sudah 20 tahun mengajar. Setiap anak berbeda-beda. Namun untuk anak
sebesar itu, baru tiba dari negara yang bahasa ibunya bukan bahasa Inggris,
saya dapat menjamin, ini adalah karya yang hebat," ujarnya menunjuk karangan
berbahasa Inggris yang dibuat anak saya. Dari diskusi itu saya mendapat
pelajaran berharga. Kita tidak dapat mengukur prestasi orang lain menurut
ukuran kita.

Saya teringat betapa mudahnya saya menyelesaikan study saya yang bergelimang
nilai "A", dari program master hingga doktor. Sementara di Indonesia, saya harus
menyelesaikan studi jungkir balik ditengarai ancaman drop out dan para penguji
yang siap menerkam. Saat ujian program doktor saya pun dapat melewatinya
dengan mudah.

Pertanyaan mereka memang sangat serius dan membuat saya harus benar-benar siap.
Namun suasana ujian dibuat sangat bersahabat. Seorang penguji bertanya dan
penguji yang lain tidak ikut menekan, melainkan ikut membantu memberikan jalan
begitu mereka tahu jawabannya. Mereka menunjukkan grafik-grafik yang saya buat
dan menerangkan seterang-terangnya sehingga kami makin mengerti. Ujian penuh
puja-puji, menanyakan ihwal masa depan dan mendiskusikan kekurangan penuh
keterbukaan. Pada saat kembali ke Tanah Air, banyak hal sebaliknya sering saya
saksikan. Para pengajar bukan saling menolong, malah ikut "menelan"
mahasiswanya yang duduk di bangku ujian.

Ketika seseorang penguji atau promotor membela atau meluruskan pertanyaan,
penguji marah-marah, tersinggung, dan menyebarkan berita tidak sedap
seakan-akan kebaikan itu ada udang di balik batunya. Saya sempat mengalami
frustrasi yang luar biasa menyaksikan bagaimana para dosen menguji, yang maaf,
menurut hemat saya sangat tidak manusiawi. Mereka bukan melakukan
encouragement, melainkan discouragement. Hasilnya pun bisa diduga, kelulusan
rendah dan yang diluluskan pun kualitasnya tidak hebat-hebat betul. Orang yang
tertekan ternyata belakangan saya temukan juga menguji dengan cara menekan.

Ada semacam balas dendam dan kecurigaan. Saya ingat betul bagaimana guru-guru di
Amerika memajukan anak didiknya. Saya berpikir pantaslah anak-anak di sana mampu
menjadi penulis karya-karya ilmiah yang hebat, bahkan penerima Hadiah Nobel.

Bukan karena mereka punya guru yang pintar secara akademis, melainkan
karakternya sangat kuat: karakter yang membangun, bukan merusak.

Kembali ke pengalaman anak saya di atas, ibu guru mengingatkan saya. "Janganlah
kita mengukur kualitas anak-anak kita dengan kemampuan kita yang sudah jauh di
depan," ujarnya dengan penuh kesungguhan. Saya juga teringat dengan rapor
anak-anak di Amerika yang ditulis dalam bentuk verbal.

Anak-anak Indonesia yang baru tiba umumnya mengalami kesulitan, namun rapornya
tidak diberi nilai merah, melainkan diberi kalimat yang mendorongnya untuk
bekerja lebih keras, seperti berikut. "Sarah telah memulainya dengan berat, dia
mencobanya dengan sungguh-sungguh. Namun Sarah telah menunjukkan kemajuan yang
berarti." Malam itu saya mendatangi anak saya yang tengah tertidur dan mengecup
keningnya. Saya ingin memeluknya di tengah-tengah rasa salah telah memberi
penilaian yang tidak objektif.

Dia pernah protes saat menerima nilai E yang berarti excellent (sempurna),
tetapi saya mengatakan "gurunya salah". Kini saya melihatnya dengan kacamata
yang berbeda.

Melahirkan Kehebatan

Bisakah kita mencetak orang-orang hebat dengan cara menciptakan hambatan dan
rasa takut? Bukan tidak mustahil kita adalah generasi yang dibentuk oleh sejuta
ancaman: gesper, rotan pemukul, tangan bercincin batu akik, kapur, dan
penghapus yang dilontarkan dengan keras oleh guru, sundutan rokok, dan
seterusnya. Kita dibesarkan dengan seribu satu kata-kata ancaman: Awas...;
Kalau,...; Nanti,...; dan tentu saja tulisan berwarna merah menyala di atas
kertas ujian dan rapor di sekolah.

Sekolah yang membuat kita tidak nyaman mungkin telah membuat kita menjadi lebih
disiplin. Namun di lain pihak dia juga bisa mematikan inisiatif dan
mengendurkan semangat. Temuan-temuan baru dalam ilmu otak ternyata menunjukkan
otak manusia tidak statis, melainkan dapat mengerucut (mengecil) atau
sebaliknya, dapat tumbuh. Semua itu sangat tergantung dari ancaman atau
dukungan (dorongan) yang didapat dari orang-orang di sekitarnya. Dengan
demikian kecerdasan manusia dapat tumbuh, sebaliknya dapat menurun. Seperti yang
sering saya katakan, ada orang pintar dan ada orang yang kurang pintar atau
bodoh.

Tetapi juga ada orang yang tambah pintar dan ada orang yang tambah bodoh.

Mari kita renungkan dan mulailah mendorong kemajuan, bukan menaburkan ancaman
atau ketakutan. Bantulah orang lain untuk maju, bukan dengan menghina atau
memberi ancaman yang menakut-nakuti. (*)

RHENALD KASALI
Ketua Program MM UI

Traffic!!!

2010-10-13T22:13:00.001-07:00

I often complain about the roads in jakarta; how I can't stand the traffic, the busses and polices that do nothing... how driving in jakarta is a challenge to ur body soul and mind. How it is a test for ur patients and toxic to ur soul. And I noticed many others complained the same.

Complaining is easy, criticizing the government and people is very easy, i realized that. But to change or to do something about it is hard. And the fact is, if we want a change, it gotta start from us!!

The whole thing is a cycle, we blame the city for not providing good enough public transport, and blame for the in-proportionate ratio of cars and roads, and all the other things. And in return, we are blamed for not driving properly and following the rules, or not paying taxes, or buying more cars than we need in a family and for taking too many cars from same starting place to the same destination and other complaints. We criticize them, they criticize us and the end results are always not pretty. For example, I heard rumors that parking buildings are to raise their parking fee to 10000 per hour. No doubt its one of their ways to reduce car usage. But what they don't realize is by doing so there will be plenty of wild inappropriate parking on the roads and would in fact cause more traffic.

So I propose to make a change starting from us, car drivers. We can do simple things, such as:

1. Follow the road rules... for example; when the light turn yellow it means be prepare to stop, not rush in 10 seconds before it turns red. Not to park in places not spose to park. Not entering the bus way lane, etc etc

2. Not to encourage wild parking areas by not parking on the side roads and all

3. Car pool... if we know people from our area are going to the same destination or area... arrange a car pool instead of each one of us bringing oour own car.

4. Utilize the public transport. I know this one seems the most ridiculous one because lets face it the public transports here are shit! and the city are not doing anything about it. But maybe if more and more people utilize public transport then maybe from the income and more complaints from clients would compel them to make it better.

5. Not to encourage bribery... the ticket isn't that expensive to pay for, so y encourage bribes to the polices who obviously were jz trying to get money. Yes, perhaps it is a hassle to have to go to the court and wait hours for ur case to be reported... but some sacrifice should be made :) and its nt tht much hassle if u send sm1 in ur place and/or come a lil late so u dun need to stay for long.

6. When for a change we do go on foot, we try to utilize the side walk (if possible), the bridge to cross and not cross in the middle of the road and walk as slowly as possible like a snail even when cars are queuing to pass (hate walkers that do this :s)

7. Not to stop a taxi or any other public transport in the middle of the road.

8. Be a lil less irritated while driving and rushing trough all the time and cut other cars off. See if the queue of cars from the other side is already ridiculously long then jz let sm cars pass first.

9. Be smart in driving... give others way but also dun be too naive to let every other car cut u off.

10. Drive at reasonable speed pleaasssee!! not too freakin speeding and not too slow...

11. Refrain from distractions such as talking on the phone, texting, making out, while driving to avoid driving recklessly... either too slow or driving on the wrong lane or the middle... causing other cars not be able to pass

12. be considerate

I myself hv started to follow those and try my best in doing so. Altho its perhaps hard, but not impossible that will make a change. And change always have to start from one step, one person, one community...

Who is with me????

Random Thoughts

2010-10-04T06:41:00.000-07:00

Sacrifices are always around, whether we want them or not. Doing the right thing is always difficult and the consequences are always within our lost and they seldom get better.

Being selfish is bad, but sometimes when the person we count on is taking advantage of us, being selfish is a form of defense.

Building bridges from a scratch is a hard work and sometimes those bridges are built by sacrificing things that are important to us and people we care about.

Choices are always around the corner and we always have to choose one. There is no right or wrong choices, there are only those that make us happy, that make us feel complete.

Our victory often turned out to be our lost and our lost often turned out to be in our best interest.

Human mind are always analyzing things that went wrong and focus there instead of seeing the beauty of what went right and make it better.

The right person comes when we see their flaw as their point of attraction. The right person comes when we stop being too hard on ourselves. The right person comes when we are ready to accept ourselves as who we are and love another as much as we love ourselves.

Every person that comes to our lives always leave memories, lessons, footsteps in our heart and takes us a step further in creating ourselves. Some leaves scars and burns, but those marks will only remind us not to sting others.

Every time we give up on something, there's always something around to give us hope…if we'd only see.

Every time we have our heart broken and thought we would never love again, comes a person that shows us the beauty of love and life once again.

-RandoMind-

Rush Hour!

2010-10-03T06:02:00.001-07:00

I hate the traffic and rush hours in jakarta, no doubts!! Hate the fact that metrominis and motor cycles rules the road and car owners got not rights to complain. Hate the fact that traffic polices just wave their hands like a welcoming doll but do nothing in real. hate the fact that these polices choose nice cars, and most often a lone female driver, to catch and get bribes from.. Hate everything about the roads of Jakarta! Had enough of it!!!

But as wise people say, u learn something from everything u encounter... and so did i in the traffic i hate.

When a car cuts my way i get annoyed and angry and i start cursing and sometimes flip him off. But then at another occasion when i'm in a hurry to reach some place, i do the same thing. I cut in front of a car that's driving slowly. So then i realize... i'm not much different than those other cars, nor am i better. I do the same thing, but somehow i expect others don't do that to me. How is that fair?

We tend to not realize our own behavior but we are always trying to change others. We always expect to be treated better when we ourselves perhaps have hurt of disrespect others, whether intentionally or not. That is perhaps the most selfish behavior of humans.

Y try to change others when we can't modify our own behavior. Why judge when we do the same thing. Why expect others to be on our level of understanding when we don't make an effort to be at theirs?

live and let live. Forgive and smile... Life's too beautiful to make a fuss about small things :)

-RandoMind-

DESIDERATA

2010-09-29T07:12:00.000-07:00

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your career, however humble; it is a real possesion in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your bussiness affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideas; and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennialas the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrounding the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the tress and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be.

And whatever you labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Fairy Tales

2010-09-22T18:31:00.000-07:00

To feel or not to feel, to love or not to love... i think its all a choice...

Since we were a child, we hv been fed with fairy tales of love and relationships. The prince n the damsel in distress. Then as we grow, we r fed with romantic comedies, drama series, heart breaking novels, etc. And so we grow up with an idea of true love and a perfect relationship.

But the world don't work that way, the universe is magical; yes! but behind the magic is a simple science. For most things, since olden age, our ancestors believe that thoughts can materialize. Thus, the saying careful what u wish for. And now the Neo-physics, the study of neotic science is close to proving that our thoughts sends energy and in fact could materialize.

But we are talking about love... in the case of love, y and how do people fall in love?

The basic science is simple; we look for what we like, what we imagine we want, we look for comfort, we look for a connection. In most cases, when we meet sm1 n hv the same interests, its easy to claim we hv fallen in love because its comfortable... its easy.. doing the same thing and enjoying it together.

Then when we meet sm1 with a striking beauty... a feature that perhaps in our childhood we hv once admired... in an instant we would chase tht figure.

In some cases, scientists made a discovery that while choosing a partner, primals look for the features or their descends. For example, a male would be more attracted to a girl with curly hair than the one with straight hair (even if she is prettier) when he has an image of his kid having curly hair. And so on..

After the first phase of the chase n excitement of meeting sm1 tht fulfills the criteria tht we have, which we call as infatuation phase, we then have the trial of living. And when this certain sm1 has the characteristics tht fits in our daily life style and we grow accustom to them... we decided, we r definitely in love and we cnt live without them.

And then comes the bond and commitment. Humans are, in general, fearful being. We are afraid to get too attached because we are afraid of losing. So to ensure that we dun lose this person tht fits in our lives so well, to ensure our territory, we tie the knot. Although marriage never gives a 100% percent guarantee of togetherness till death parts them, but the illusion that it might is enough for us to live with our partners.

So back to true love... is when u meet n be with the person u imagined u wanna be with n tht person feels the same... and perfect relationship is where these 2 fills in the blanks of each other's life..

so there... the simple science of love :)

-Rambles of the RandoMind-

WEAKNESS

2010-09-17T19:42:00.001-07:00

Is accepting destiny is a sign of weakness? Or rather a sign of maturity?

I believe in destiny, but sometimes i just enjoy fighting it… Acceptance just make me feel weak.

If destiny counts for everything, then what are we to do?

For a loooonnnggg time, i’ve always hated the phrase "everything that has to happen, has to happen"… it just kinda say that we have no power whatsoever to lead our lives… then y r even here?

As foolish as i was, i dispise believer of God and follower of faith…i thought 2 surrender and see wat happens is just a sign of weakness… to fight for what i want despite of everything else that said no, was a sign that i’m a living fish in this vast sea of life.

Sure, i enjoyed my swim fighting the tides… sure it was a pride to be able to say i’m nt weak… i’m a rebel!!! but it gets tiring…and wen the results meet not the expectation, i fall and cry like a baby…

I learnt though as time passes, acceptance of destiny is nt a sign of weakness, rather, it is a sign of strength… It takes alot of guts and courage to let got the driving wheel of your life…to accept and understand that we owe this life to the universe, to accept that we are nothing than puppets…

It takes more courage to believe and to have faith that to fight…

Don’t be affraid to let go… don’t think believing is being coward

We do however make our own choices, but i believe destiny and universe working hand in hand are preparing us for something big, something our soul rejoice for…

I don’t believe in a single powerful being called GOD… I think its just a word human created to describe something that are bigger than them, something the are affraid of….

What i believe in is the power of the universe… and wen we make the universe happy, it gives us wat we need, wat we ask for…i believe that the universe takes care of us

"When u want something, the whole universe conspires to help you realize your desire" (The Alchemist)… and its true…

So just chill, lay back and enjoy the ride…experience it and u will agree that your wishes are always answered….

There are consquences of course… but that’s a whole other chapter…….

Memories

2010-09-09T11:34:00.001-07:00

I have trouble sleeping lately, clinically i would say that it is due to lack of activities, lack of the use of brain functions. Yes, perhaps doing nothing bothers me as much as too much to do. My mind is blank, my heart is calm and that makes it harder to get me to sleep. It was as though everything was completed n now at the bridge, i dunno where to go. I felt like being in an equilibrium.

I remembered feeling similar a couple years ago. Where i could detach feelings and emotions from everyday life, where i felt i was at an equilibrium and no desires left to achieve. MAN!!! It's boring!! partying without hard work to proceed it is just not fun... all the high feeling i love being in is stale.

I need to travel, to get out of this place, to meet new ppl, to have new adventures, but there is something stopping me from taking that step and i dunno y.

At 1 am in my bed covered with blanket, trying to talk/chat with people who r still awake, i realized nothing and no1 can ease me from this feeling of calmness,.. I realized the only person i wanna talk about this to is tht one person that showed me the colors of life, even the dark ones... The urges to pick up the phone and dial the number is so strong, but stronger yet is the common sense i was taught. It is 1 am, i hvnt been in contact with this person for a long while, it is the night before Eid, wouldn't it be rude to just call at this odd timing? Not to mention if there was some1 else by their side.

So i decided to ramble here... in hope that if i never get the guts to call, he could read this and understand.

The memories stuck to my brain is hard to erase... perhaps good memories are always fun to cherish, but along with tht they bring stabbing pain to my heart. The pain of knowing tht it's just a memory and may never be the same again. I may never see his face again.

Perhaps he has changed, perhaps i have changed; but something inside me tells me that up to this moment only he could make sense of the equilibrium im experiencing. It's an odd feeling that tells me he is at the same level i am and perhaps even he is searching for me whether he realize it or not.

There is this image of the this one time we were at the same place together. I remember the look in his eyes as he watched me dance. When he saw me looking he caught my eyes and smiled. So many things, so may feelings transfered just by that one look, one smile.

People laughed at my silly 'delusions', as they call it. They laugh at my faith. They tell me he is meaningful to me because i let him be and has nothing to do with fate. I, in return, laugh at their ignorance. Nothing happens by chance... everything is predestined and i, tho having a choice, can't fight destiny.

He was there when i needed guidance, he was there when i try so hard to make sense of what was going on, when i try so hard in trying to see the positive in things. He would laugh at me and tell me that life sucks and i just have to deal with it. He showed me reality and showed me tho it sucks sometimes, its always fun to live in it and come out of it as a winner. I, in exchange, showed him how to dream, how to imagine and let the imagination brings him to places he never been. I showed him to dream until the dream came true.

We were there for each other when we needed each other. But as time pass, i walked forward and he stayed stationed.

Now, i find myself in the same place... it seems like even as i walked forward, i was making just a turn. Or perhaps at every corner of the path we take always lies similar troubles... similar puddles and black holes.

I wondered if i had just made a turn and came back to where i started, or had i moved forward and just met a similar situation but not the same. Then i came to a conclusion that i had walked forward and the place i am in right now, though seems similar, is a different one than the one i was in before. Had it been the same then he would hv been here... as he had stayed stationed, but he isnt, so i knew i had moved forward.

I LOVE part 2

2010-09-08T10:55:00.000-07:00

1. I LOVE the way my blue eyeliner looks on me

2. I LOVE lying down on the grass in front of the state library in a sunny day, reading an Enid Blyton novel n let my imagination fly and falling asleep n drifting into a kid’s dream

3. I LOVE sitting with a cup of coffee n reminisce all the gud memories with ppl i love n smile to myself knowing that it’ll always remain that way

4. I LOVE the feeling of warm water pouring on my shoulder wen i take my shower after a long day

5. I LOVE it wen i sit with my laptop, doing my work n the words just flow

6. I LOVE drinking/eating (???) slurpee in a cold nite

7. I LOVE the feeling of independence holding my own apt key, doing my own shopping and laundry, cooking my own food and most importantly not having to report to sm1 about my actions except myself

8. I LOVE being on the swing and swing it higher n higher n higher until i feel like im flying n never coming back to ground

9. I LOVE being held like a fragile piece of glass in the arm of a strong, caring man

10. I LOVE the train of life im in….

Either Way

2010-09-06T03:59:00.001-07:00

You are my sweetest dream and my worst nightmare…

Either way, I don’t wanna wake up

You are my reason of living and my cause of death…

Either way, I can’t ignore you

You are my ups and my downs…

Either way, I need you

You are my happiest days and my crappiest moments…

Either way, I survive through them

You are my brightest summer and coldest winter…

Either way, I enjoy them

You are the best thing in my life and the worst…

Either way, I cheerish You

You are my perfect flaw and my hugest mistake…

Either way…

I’m glad I know You

-RandoMind-

Rambles: I LOVE

2010-09-04T10:40:00.000-07:00

Rambles: I LOVE: "Simple things that i love and never failed to make me feel better;1. I LOVE waking up early morning just to realize I still have a couple mo..."

I LOVE

2010-09-04T03:05:00.001-07:00

Simple things that i love and never failed to make me feel better;

1. I LOVE waking up early morning just to realize I still have a couple more hours to sleep...

2. I LOVE getting calls or mails from old friends that have lost contact for months or maybe years

3. I LOVE it when the song that have been in my mind the whole day suddenly comes up in the radio (Or some1 just plays it on tape, for that matters)

4. I LOVE it when someone who matters to me comes up with glow in their face and tell me their good news

5. I LOVE it wen i find crumpled $5 note, that i never rem leaving, in my jeans pocket

6. I LOVE giving surprises and the look on their face when they got it

7. I LOVE waking up to a call from some1 special in the middle of the night

8. I LOVE playing with kids and make them smile and laugh (their laughs is bliss)

9. I LOVE it wen it's the end of the month and i thought i had spend more than the limit but then it turns out i still have some money left from my budget that month

10. I LOVE it when the next vol of my favourite comic comes out

11. I LOVE the search of getting the things im craving for (I'll search and search until i get what im looking for)

12. I LOVE getting testimonials from friends

13. I LOVE coming back home from a whole day out and just fall asleep without any further thoughts of tommorow

14. I LOVE it when someone comes back from somewhere and have something for me

15. I LOVE showing people the things i shopped

16. I LOVE having my hot chocolote in the train while looking at the world from the window

17. I LOVE it when the person i was just thinking about calls or just simple msgs

18. I LOVE it when i scored more than i expected

19. I LOVE watching the premiere of the movie i've been waiting for on its worldwide release

20. I LOVE the look on my parents/family/friends/lover (Basically people who r close to me) when they are proud of me

21. I LOVE the look on people's faces when they fall in love

22. I LOVE the rain at the end of the picnic and get soaked wet in it

23. I LOVE the rainbow after a short shower in a mid bright summer day

24. I LOVE it when the person i care just understands me without a word from me.

25. I LOVE sudden crazy plans and actually doing them

and the last but not least

26. I just simple LOVE my IMPERFECT LIFE

-RandoMind-

Walk Walk Dear Soul

2010-09-03T05:30:00.001-07:00

Walk, walk dear soul
In the darkness of the world
Close your eyes and reach your goal

Climb the stairs and fear not to fall
In places where courage aren’t sold
Walk, walk dear soul

Collect bits and pieces of life as you roll
Then when the jar of time is filled
Close your eyes and reach your goal

Fear not to be stopped by the wall
Be brave and bold
Walk, walk dear soul

Don’t you hear the call?
You have future to mold
Close your eyes and reach your goal

Till you reach, rest not your soul
Do it not for the silver and gold
Walk, walk dear soul
Close your eyes and reach you goal

-RandoMind-

Don't Judge Me

2010-09-01T04:04:00.000-07:00

Don’t judge me from what I do, but from my reason to do so…

Don’t judge me from what I say, but from what I meant by it…

Don’t judge me from what my decisions are, but from the reason I chose them…

Don’t judge me from a first impression, but know me for who i am every day…

Don’t judge me from what I think, but know first y I thought of that at the first place…

Don’t judge me by my atitude, coz sometimes it aint as it looks…

You might be able to read me like a book, but i’m not as shalow as u think!

I’m a sponge; i absorb everything n shaped by them…

Hurt me once, hurt me twice…. be the reason for my Successful life! :)

Be A Child N Be Happy

2010-08-29T21:00:00.000-07:00

A child doesn’t know what’s wrong and what’s right…
He experiments and never fear to try

A child cries when he’s sad and laughs when he’s happy…
He never lies and hides his emotions

A child sleeps soundly to prepare himself for tommorow…
He never worries of what’s coming

A child cries when he falls but gets up the next second and achieve his goal and smiles when he gets it…
He never gives up

A child talks to God when he prays and ask Him for the wellness of people around him and believes God’s next to him…
He’s full of faith and never doubts

A child goes up to a stranger and says hi when he wishes to…
He trusts his instinct

A child does things that he feels right and always truns out good…
He listens to his heart without considering the thoghts of his mind

A child cries when he sees other people cry…
He feels for others as he feels for himself

A child sulks n cries when he gets scoldings or gets hurt but smiles n gives chocolates the next moment to the same person who made him sulked and cried…
He forgives and forgets…

A chilld crawls into his bed at night feeling content and happy for the day and looks forward for more mishieves the next day…
He’s always thankfull and satisfied

So be a child…don’t be scared to let the kid inside u live n grow…
Coz only a child knows the true meaning of life n happiness…

Be A Child N Be Happy!!!!

-RandoMind-

E U P H O R I A

2010-08-29T09:03:00.001-07:00

Euphoria, or feeling of ‘High’ as we normaly know it, is a feeling of happiness that comes as a result of endophrine (a hormone produced by our brain that cause the feeling of happiness and relaxation) release and their binding to the receptors in our brain.

Consumption of alcohol and drugs abuse triggers the release of endhoprine more than normal. This cause the feeling of ultimate euphoria, but sometimes they just backfire and leave u more depress than ever. People with troubles in their mind and facing minor depression tends to go to alcohol and drugs, cause they know they’ll get high and feel happy, even it’s for a while.

We’ve heard a million times that drinking and drugs abuse isn’t healthy and will lead to may health problems and eventually death. But what to do? sometimes we just want to get away from all the problems around us and get the feeling of euphoria even if its just for a whl…

What we don’t know is that the euphoria induced by alcohol and drugs are forced euphorias which will only last as long as we drink and once we stop, it’ll leave us with the worse feeling ever. This is caused by the brain that’s not used to taking too much of endophrines.

What happen is; when we drink alcohol, we force an abnormal release of endophrine in our brain while the endophrine receptors in our brain stays the same amount. Because of the over flowing endophrine n not enough receptors to take it all in, each receptors catches more than the usual amount and get used to that amount.

When we stop drinking, the endophrine release declines while the receptors r still used to to the abnormal amount and they thirst for more endophrine. But they couldn’t get it anymore… and that’s what triggers stress and leave us feeling down for quite some time.

What people usually do to overcome this stress is to drink more and at last it becomes a vicious cycle. And when they are used to it, they don’t feel the after effect of stress and depression anymore all they’ll suffer is the healthy problems that occurs last.

Now, euphoria doesn’t necessarily need alcohol to obtain. Euphoria is a feeling that comes when u r happy, excited or just simple feeling relax. But in our busy days and complicated lives, there’s hardly a time u can relax and feel really happy from within. So how to feel this euphoria without getting into the vicious cycle of alcoholism and everything?

Our brain releases edophrine in normal amount everyday… with this fact, we r s’pose to be happy all the time. But what happens is, we get stress up with things. When we r stressed up, our brain releases serotonin (another hormone). Serotonin and endophrine compete each other for the same receptors and usually the release of serotonin is much more than endophrine when we r stressed. This way, serotonin takes almost all the space for endophrine in the receptors.

To overcome this, we gotta trigger more release of endophrine, but not too much that the receptors get addicted to it. Just a lilltle bit more than normal to over ride the serotonin.

One of the best ways to do this is to exercise… it has been proven that wen we exercise, our brain releases more endophrine and the receptors become more sensitive to endophrines. This is why we feel relaxed and light after we do some exercise (Not stenous though).

Listening to soft music, chocolates, laughing over a joke, hanging out with friends and having some fun, getting a call from some old friend, waking up to a beautiful morning and breath in the morning breeze, going for some hiking and enjoying the nature and fresh air, just sit and think about the good times, looking at a baby’s smilin at u, playing the swing till height, turning the cup in a ride so hard that u feel dizzy, going to all the rides and being a child once in a while… all this and many more help release a lil bit more of endophrine in our brain and they also help making the receptors more sensitive to endophrine rather than serotonin.

For me personally; i love eating chocolates…. going for all the rides in dufan and getting calls from some1 special in the middle of the nite once in a while or perhaps just by giving a surprise to a friend on her b’day by showing up at midnite in front of her door with a cake and a bottle of wine….

I get excited when i know i’ve made some1 happy or simply made some1 smile. I become very happy when i realize i’ve made some1’s day brighter just by greeting him/her… and that just bring happiness to me.

The look in the face of those people that u have touched and bring happiness to is the the ultimate bliss and ultimate cause of ultimate EUPHORIA!!!!

GOD

2010-08-29T01:41:00.000-07:00

When i was a kid, me and my sis used to have these wild imagination about things…(we still do) one of them was about GOD, who is He exactly? So we turn to each other and gave our ideas. These are some of them;

1. God is a magician who stays in the sky and always has his stick with him and does magic all the time.

2. God is a boss at this very big office in the sky and has so many helpers who sit infront of the computer the whole day, reading the datas about people on earth and decide the punishments or rewards for them.

3. All the Gods i.e.; Jesus, Budha, Allah, and all the hindu Gods are friends and they hang around with each other very often and laugh at human’s stupidity of comparing one God with the other, one religion with another.

ps: now at adolescence, we even came to the point that they have hearings for matters like; why does Krishna have so many wives and if Jesus is the son of God, then who’s God’s wife?

4. God is this really cool imaginary friend who comes up to rescue all the time

5. At the age of 12, after reading Sybil and First Person Prural, my sister decided that God and the Devil are actually one person with multiple personality disorder

6. God is this giant man who looks down from high above where His head is. It’s somewhat like we see the ants on the ground near our feet.

7. God was so lonely and bored, cause he has nothing to do and no wife or friends, so he decided to do something exciting… and the result is us!!!

8. God is this king who sits on this huuuuugggeeee throne somewhere up there and rules over the angels and give them work to do

Latest vision of GOD;

9. God is this giant student boy, maybe from outer space, who was told to make a science project and he ends with us. (Just to make it clear; WE R HIS FREAKIN SCIENCE PROJECT)

10. God is this super cool, playboy guy who sits on a throne and have these pretty, sexy angels all around Him. (Ever wonder why all the angels names are girlish?). The angels flirt with Him and feed Him grapes, dance around him, etc (Basically He is living all guys dream). whenever His beeper goes off (that means there is trouble down here or some ppl calling His name), all He has to do is tell one of His angel flirtatiously to take care of whatever it is.

RandoMind